The Key to Preventing Adultery
I’m sure you’ve heard the story before: the pastor who runs off with his secretary. But have you ever stopped to think how it all started? It started because they were at work having frequent one-on-one conversations.
Dr. Shirley Glass found that 62 percent of men and 50 percent of women she counseled for marital unfaithfulness had affairs with someone they knew from work. (Source: Focus on the Family http://urlot.com/affair-dix ) The reason people have affairs with coworkers so often, is that other than their spouse, people spend the most time with coworkers. Thus, they have ample chance for deepening relationships through frequent (even daily) one-on-one conversations with coworkers. It is very hard to work a whole day anywhere without having some sort of social conversation with someone who works there. These one-on-one conversations can lead to adultery.
When you think about it frequent one-on-one conversations are really a form of “unofficial dating” When you date someone, what do you do? You go out to the nicest restaurant you can afford and spend the night having a one-on-one conversation. Or you do such and such activity and have a one-on-one conversation while doing it. You call each other frequently to have more one-on-one conversations etc etc etc. Frequent one-on-one conversations are essential to forming an intimate relationship leading either to marriage or adultery.
It is very hard to maintain an adulterous relationship without one-on-one conversations. There is a level of intimacy in talking alone with someone (even if other people are in the room) that is not found in written communication or multiple person conversations. You are more likely to share the deep things of your heart in a one-on-one conversation than in a conversation with multiple people. Speaking of which, if you are married, you should limit what you share with people of the opposite sex you are not related to. The more you share, the more intimate you get and you don’t want to be too intimate with someone you are not married to.
What should we do with this information? First, be aware of opposite-sex acquaintances you have one-on-one conversations with on a regular basis. Tell your spouse who you talk with often. Don’t share the deep things of your heart with someone of the opposite sex you talk to often. Some signs the relationship is going too far is if you feel greater intimacy with than person than your spouse, if you look forward to your next conversation, or if you go out of your way to spend time with that person.*
One-on-one conversations can be a pathway to adultery. It is vital to flee fornication through making your spouse the person you are the most intimate with and have the most one-on-one conversations with.
*Source: Focus on the Family http://urlot.com/affair-pmy
